souls of your shoes.

Screaming! The blood in your veins is cascading like broken dams. Searching! You eyes shot with fear; are lost, looking like a child who lost their parents. Adrenaline has wedged its way into every fiber of your being. If you were to die on the side of the road, you would have no one, you, really have lost all your friends. The puddle of blood is taunting you. Alone! You all alone with the only person you ever cared for. You died on the inside, long ago. When you started running! Running! The calamity of all that is yourself and your running to a blackness suffocating your life as you personality fades into brutality of others. You’re hurting so bad. You hurt so badly. It has everything to do with your running! You’re running from a life of honesty and taking a road of lies. You’re running from everything that asks you to give something of yourself, a lifeless run of panic, because the essence of character makes your quiver. The idea of something wholesome or honest disturbs you. It really is a narcissistic complex. You will not do anything that you do not want to do. You can not see yourself giving to anything that does not benefit you. You don’t hang around somewhere to develop relationships, but, you’ll hang around if you’re being entertained. You call people only when you want something, cleverly, masking the words with genuine motives.

 

I hurt thinking of the countless things that you have done that disgust me.

I compromised myself. I justified myself. “A quick-temped man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.” – Proverbs 14:17.  I didn’t let the things you did take traction.

The wretched things that you did looked almost permissible, yet, effectively I’ve put some lenses on that give the clear sight and steadfast judgment to discern unquestionably that your actions are impermissible and without excuse. Sadly moreover, you relish in their malicious effects on others. You are the only reason you lose all your friends. Because people can see that you hurt others, and it does not bother you. But, for the people who have hearts, they care that others are in pain. They also see they can’t remain to associate with a monster.

 

You’re running! Running! From the love that could fix you and mock my faith as if it wasn’t important to me. You see in me the problems that are so unfair for people to blame faithlessness on. Hypocrite. I am. I am a messed up and broken person. I’m a man with a frailty disposition. But, I’m not the reason that you run!

In all that I’m faulted with from you, I’m not the reason you can’t give into the love.

There is a chase. Someone is running after you. Christ wants to hold you dearly. You’re a child and He wants to take your sins and hold them closely to a cross. You’re not running anymore, your being chased. You don’t have to recognize this for it to be true. You don’t have to believe at all. For Jesus to still want you. It does not matter how far you go. It does not matter how fast you run. He’s not out of reach. It does not matter what you think. It does not matter what you’ve done. He is still not out of reach. He is very much in touch where you’re at. 

Why?

I have so much to say but it seems like I can't speak to save my life. I yearn to express these burdens, trials, frustration, joy, laughter and accomplishments. However if I express frustration - Am I complaining? - Or if I have an accomplishment - Am I bragging? - Or - Taking the glory from the Father who deserves the recognition? - However when I do speak, I do so abundantly and with unnecessary elaboration. So my listener really hears yadda, yadda, yadda (Or did they listen patiently?). Complex indeed! Because now based on my action I'm judging their reactions immediately without notice. Should I really approach someone who has sinned agenst me in sheer spite? Ahh! Troubled is my mind. How do I keep my friends accountable without them thinking that Im trying to be better than they are? Moreover ask You didnt used to cuss why now? knowing their response will be an excuse. Retorting with a tainted justification aimed to make me look like the Holy legalist. Maybe I need to get out of my Christian diapers. Apparently I have to grasp a rope & scale this character flaw(s). Until _____~!n HIS grip,-D

Exhibit A - Part 1

I said to myself one day. "Dan, today is the day you will not sin!" - The first thing I did was lie to myself. It's the curse of everyone fails! True, everyone does fail. However, its so patronizing to here that all the time, coat it over, make it ok? When will we hear more of "Everyone succeeds" Everyone does succeed. Look, its simple. I made someone laugh. BAM! However, whats more exciting? I saw someone get shot! Or I saw a person smile today! Point is, there is a war of opposite ends, the positive and negative, the righteous and the unrighteous, good-bad, God & Satan. I'm convicted right now. Really something fierce. I was under the impression I should fear God. Because, the uncomfortable-empty feeling in my gut I got back before I knew the truth. Follow with me here- Fear God, yes. However do not fear God to do harm to you like Satan strives to do. You are His creation, child and temple. HE LOVES YOU! Wow, really think about that. In correlation think, the time you was tucked in by your mom/dad/ yadda, yadda. Guess what? Now your blankie is a lil thing called everlasting salvation. Your being tucked in by the Creator of the universe. Call me crazy...but! That excites me. HE LOVES YOU! An individual, a fireman, banker, student, prostitute, gambler, preacher, priest, drug dealer, alcoholic, a child you are, no more nor less than any other child. It's crazy I know. Moving on. What is the WORSE thing you can do to someone at a church? Got it? Not talk to them, not shake their hand, turn the blind eye and give someone the cold shoulder. Agree? I don't know, but I really think there is a difference when someone is welcomed and warmly greeted, then someone walking in saying hi and sitting down? The question "How are you doing?" Really means "I acknowledged your presence." Our words can affect everything. One time I got a message saying "Daniel, you should watch what you say; not saying that what you said to me was bad. But your words really affect people." I was so shocked, I hadnt talk to this individual in months and they show up out of no where. Cause my words kept me on their mind. I never understood the power of words until then. I say that to bring you to this. Recently it seems as my tone and what I say may come off as somewhat abrasive, judgmental or maybe even come across as a cutting remark. If I have come to you in such a way as previously described.Forgive me please, It seems these days everything ours friends cant live without competitionTo a point where it is not fun anymore really brining in bogus rules and stupid situations. I mean what happened to a nice game of pa-diddle? Overwhelming case of the 1-upers anything you say/do I can do one more. If you hit the shot, Ill hit it twice. Im infected with this disease and may have one of the worse cases. However, Im going to improve. Notice I didnt say try. By saying try you imply effort, when effort is giving there is results. I will improve. I have to humble myself Im way to cocky/competitive/ arrogant and proud. I can say that. So stop the games, its not about whose better I had this terrible misconception that if only I can slam them with a good joke, or make fun of them it not such a bad way. Its all good. Theyre cool with it, NO! But, apparently giving your best friends encouragement and support isnt the cool thing to do. We have to misconstrue it somehow because were guys. If we are what we say we are (Christians) and we do what were supposed to do. Wouldnt we be convicted when we dont rain love down on your closest of peopleOH! Hold on, random point. But if you dont respect your earthly parents, how in the WORLD are you going to respect you Godly father? I cant stand it when people take their parents for granted. Some of the people I know have no clue what I would do to eat with my Mom and Dad at a diner. Or get a call and something as simple as How is your day son? I mean, it almost really brings me to tears, and I dont cry much. But, there your parents not mine. So that lil tangent may very well go in vain. But I say to you this, if you ever had your parents absent of your life you would think differently. God knows I do. Ok, back to the loving others. Jesus said you are to esteem others, build their confidence and give them comfort. Yadda, yadda. Enough said Im rambling now. I might add to this later.

Mud Sling.

I'm here in Adair Co Ky. Spending time with my familey and friends. Seeing images of my past come alive, seeing how people have changed, visiting my lovley grandmother. There is so many things about here, I miss. For example the scenery here in comparision to Logan Co is ten fold. I miss the ability to walk down the street to hang out with guys that I have known since I was 7. I miss the nights when I look up and I am enthrawled by the sky because it is so rich in stars. I miss my Daddy, yes I said Daddy.
I just got back from Impact. 10 amazing days of an atmosphere of surrounded by God's loving people. Around 2500-3000 people representing the greater southern United States. Come together under the name of Jesus Christ, to change their lives. Now, in realilty some of the people there was not there of a sprirtual charge whatsoever. But, in the enviroment created you can't help but see God's awesome glory. I get so sad knowing people have came to Impact, fully knowing how to block out God for that week. But, my experience @ Impact was again, phenomonal, I got to be the "DJ" and it was a diffrent experience, fun, stressful at times and rewarding. I wish not to do it again, I would rather have campers under my wing. I got to see some old friends that I havent seen, grow closer to people (wink cowgirl) and help out with concerts and meet people. Most of all, Jesus Christ in my relationship, a passionite, intimate yearning for my savior. The theme this year was the Story. -great theme- and it really got me to thinking, belittling me, knowing I have chapter 1, until my final page. My mortal body is meak, nevertheless reassurance in Christ I will live in paradise with Him for eternity. Every year I delare "Impacts" in my life, Deep- The begining, Impact was making God previlant in my life.Mystery- Impact was knowing God is always with me, and never can lose His love for me.Escape- Satan is good @ his job, However there is always a way out, you can do all things through Christ. Story - My prayer life. I can pray continually, in constant conversation with my big daddy in the sky.I reckon thats it. Goin' to a mud sling, yesterday was a truck pull, thrusday was a trackor pull...What? I live in Kentucky Yo!Grace & Peace,Have a wonderful day
In HIS grip,dan.

Flowers, quickly fade. (Ode to Death)

Us, as humans, as fragile animals are here willed only by God. Phycical death is something that is reality. I wasne't going to write a blog on the recent tragities until today. When I found out that another person I cared for has passed away. This has been really hard for me. You have to look past my plastic emotions. Frankly this sucks. In the past month, there has been:Kyle & Courtney car wreckDanny Blick passed awayNathan fatal car wreckOffuts fatal car wreak lost ErinNow. yesterday Pete Hall killed while helping our preacher move into his new home. I have almost had it. But I need refuge and strenght. I almost cant believe ALL this has happend in such a short time, I remeber when it all started and I watch Kyle & Courtney be life-flighted to Vandy, THEN driving down that night. Spritual death is only reality when sin is the centerfold. When Jesus, whom they called Christ is the focus of your heart, you WILL NOT DIE! You live on! It's something so amazing so powerful we can't really comprehend it, the closest we get it just saying it. I watched Pitch Black last night. There is a scene where another planet fills up the horizon. That scared me, cause I immeadilty thought of Armogeddon.? Dunno why, however I know its something I should look forward to, being on the Lords Army. However somethins so cosmic, so titanic scares the crap out of me. Cause I am nothing. I am nothing.

Thoughts current in Dan. MORE!!!

Hi ladies and gentlemen. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion/absolute in my life."I always change."I like to question things.andargue.So, a recent development in my life is that. I love politics, isen't that verred! If my 2 readers would... I would like for them to bring up a political topic in the form of a comment on this blog, so I in turn can express my views on that particular topic.Probally won't happen. Nevertheless, there is more to share.I am reading two books right now. You should read them too. Velvet ElvisRants From the Red State Comedian. Thank you Brad Stine, cause your views are all over this blog. I also, just wan't to add. I HATE MY JOB. But, it's money that advances my current cause in this point of my life, which is to please my thirst for knowledge in a institue of higher learning and it pains me everyday I'm not in a class. I never thought I'd say that.I think its about to storm. Goodnight.PRO-LIFE / PRO-CHOICE- for trees.Here we go. "Pro-life w/ choice." My views are complicated, but stick with me. To be pro-life dosen't stop with abortion, I take it to the death pentality, war, yadda yadda, Pro-life till I'm blue in the face. Nevertheless complications in that. There are always going to be stipulations, matters, occurences that pop up, ""A mother is pregnat, however if she goes thru delivery theres a chance the mother will die, not to mention the baby is also handicapped."" Pro-life? In that case its a matter of judgement w/out judgement (from 3rd partys) When it comes to two individuals having narsasistice indulgences i.e. "SEX FEINE" and end up with another human life, with a heart beat, pulse, a baby. I would move toward being a law that they delivery the child. Cause that in turn is murder, we have laws on murder. (some argue when life begins? duh, heartbeat. shut-up) If you make the "choice" of 10 minutes of pleasure, and end up with nine months of nurture of another life, thats your choice. You make the consiense desision. So, if because you don't have the resources, or compedence to foster a childs early years. Give them to a family that can't have a child that would love that child dearly. Ultimily I see it God, then Constitution. I'm a advocate for our countrys libertys and freedom. But not w/ out moral implications or else the very reason this country was founded would be in vain. Abortion should be an case by case descison with few absolutes. Like I said absolute being "sex fiene" Safe, legal, very rare. And for the people that come about with the argument. "What about raped women who get pregnat?" I say this, It's a horrible reality, but. In all the cases of abortion, only 3% of them are rape/incest/yadda yadda. I could add, but you get my gist._--------------------------------------------------Ashey. I love you girl.WAR WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR, ABSOLUTLY NOOOTHING. Ahh yeah!Good song, terrible message. There is a time for war and a time for peace, as a follower of Jesus, I'm convicted that finding peace is every situation is a good way to live. Nevertheless. There is time for war. Iraq is complicated also, see. We wen't in under confustion, and abrubtly. Now, to be honest going to in may ultimtly be a good thing. Saddam Hussain is out. "PROBLEM" The message to America that the war we we're fightings goal was NOT getting Hussain. We wanted Bin Ladin! Bush, Bush, Bush, the only president to have a record on both side of approval ratings, In early 02 had the highest presidental approval rating ever. Eairler this year, had the lowest, sucks to be him. However he said we're fighting a war on terriorism, not on non-existant weapons of mass destruction. As for the war in Iraq, I think the descsion could have seasoned more, maybe more dipolmacy. War on Bin Ladin? Get him, its justice time. However, I'm trying to hurry. Bear w. me If we leave Iraq now. We're going to face big big problems. Understand the question is not. "How do we get Hussain out?" It's "whos comming next" Its called a vaccum of power. I so wish I could explain this, but think of why we're still in Korea's borders, we have huge base in Germany, Japan? Vaccum of power is; In my opinon why we have catholics. but thats a diffrent topic altogether. This its fragemented and poorly relayed, Ashley forgive me. Love you.---------------------Ok, next. gay rights...Do I judge, scorn, mock, scouff? No. thats wrong. Have I yes. duh, i'm human im not superman. i can mess up. you see something abnormal it usually will be riduculed.its harsh truth of human nature.people make fun of the abnormal. Fats/ mental retarted/ old/ ugly/ short/ tall/ stupid/ skinny/ birth defects/ unathletic/ down syndrom/Do they destroy the santicity of marrige? No more than heterosexuals that get married 4 times in a lifetime.Should we pass a law that says they can have a legal binding document that says boy+boy= marrige. I'm leaning towards no. I think that if your gay. all that matters is the relationship? that your in love (as preverse as that may be) marrige shouldent be defined as a piece of paper. i don't want my child growing up thinking they can marry there best friend. as far as the arguemnt that homosexuality is a disease?/your born w. it.ask these colleges that did the studies saying its a condition thats developed / choice you make. i would name them off, but i dont have that recource handy. but i was just recently informed of the efforts between serveral diffrent colleges in diffrent areas of the united states to finish off this myth.i'm not a gay basher.i see probelms in marrige on both sides. nature demands boy & girl to advance life.they choose somoene of their own sex to develop a relationship with....OK. you have the relationsip. don't bring in the leagalities and propaganda of marrige.founders of the country wasent' having this conversation.it was so far fetched its like putting speed limits in the constituition.dont force your culture on consitution. i'm not asking for the president for a law that requires not cuss words.-__----------------------ANNNNNNNIMALLLLL RIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!!!please excuse me while i barf.ok, good. look if you know me. at all you know and understand that i love animals, i realllllly do. i lost two puppies this year and it killed me. but the people that go around telling me that animals are equal to humans. should be taking out to the jungle w/ out anything and see how the animals treat you. the very fact we're discussing this means we're better. i wan't sharks to stop eating people! can we get a human/shark transltor. tell them its mean. now, to adress the unethical treatment of animals...thats cruel. but if i shoot a dear. THEN EAT HIM. I'M FOLLWING NATURE, duh. please, someone give me a duh, why are we having this coversation. people are always like dont wear fur! NEVER WEAR FUR!!!!! how do you think the indians survived in the cold plains of kansas. ON AMERICAN TURF. w/ out fur. they didn't have tofo jackets. and and and. the people that don't wear fur, wear leather. and guess what, thats beef jerkey w. a zipper. i dont want to be maliocius w/ these people. but they have got to get some common sense, i will eat beef cause I'M A CONOVORE. how many vegans you know that have a good immune system....ok, my point is. i love meat and it adds to my heath. peta can help the dolphins that are caught in the TUNA net. ........the tuna net.WHAT ABOUT THE TUNA. IN THE TUNA NET.ok ok, if there is mistreatment of animals like, beating, bad dog catchers or whatever do your job. don't tell me what i can/cant wear/eat. thank you and goodnight. ------------
case by case judgement w/ out judgement. my lil quote.as a human, i don't have the right/postion/power to have another man killed as punishment. what is more cruel. living w/ no life?dying?this may be a lil crazy. but what if we asked the murderer. do you want to die?or live here in this 3x3 cubical for the rest of your numberd days?
which one is death?like i said, im not one to go around and use the death pentalty lightly.if it is used. it shoulent be publizied like most of them are. it should be descret. i know you can't stop the media from the information to report about but you can stop them from watching him walk the line. Personally, this one is to big for me. Its so confusing/deep...your talking about shocking someone into eternity...
dude kills 10 people. we kill him?
who wins? Is justice mocking what he was doing? GRRR dang you Justin. Its like life sentences to jail. Or these are my favorite. dude is 30 goes to jail...his sentence...100 years. lol. whats up with that. God.The ultimate judge.Dan.Layman.

signs

Signs- Weird blog (not)I blog in reference to recent happenings simply because I am annoyed. See, when people see a sign the usualy respond to it (according to its consequence) Like, a traffic signal. If a brave soul was to ignore the efforts of a red traffic signal, they're going to find themselves 1) REALLY LUCKY or 2) REALLY PHYSICALLY HURT.Signs don't stop there. What if, you're an individual in which your life of recent has been austrcizied, due to seemingly external efforts effecting your poor innocent self. Here's a clue for you, if the people you knew and 'loved' were shying away from you as a whole, then blame is not placed on the majorty. History shows majorities (usualy) always right. Mind the perspective however, minorities have been the benefactor of 'whipping boy' if you will. Mind perspective again, NOT THE CASE!See, resolution efforts are futile to whom which no resolution is desired. One time a 'christian' calls upon me doom, saying I was hell bound for the sins I have commited, against God and my brothers in Christ.----Now your done laughing. Firstly, to place eternal judgement on one's soul other than yours is almost heresy.Secondly, on top of bringing in religious connotaions, contiuning to cuss me out, scold me and place my postion in society as a orphan. (which is wrong in and of itself)Jesus loves orphans.Bringing in a enchalade of other people to come to your aide at others expense never advances selfish resolutios either.SO, lets just stop it. Does this highway of signs have and red octagon screaming stop. Is it really worth avoiding others? Is it worth losing friends? Is it worth dropping memories as if they was bad candy? I say, -not so much- Jokes are no long apreciated as jokes anymore, however now there just taken as malicious cuts. (that intention was not in mind)To be Christian, means to be "In Christ"To be "In Christ" means you follow his teachings.His teachings are perfect.Grudges suck. They ruin frienships. So, I swallow my pride. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I applogize.ps. Personal relationships with Christ only come from the indiviudal's own heart.-fact.I'm Daniel Collins, and I approve this message.