souls of your shoes.

Screaming! The blood in your veins is cascading like broken dams. Searching! You eyes shot with fear; are lost, looking like a child who lost their parents. Adrenaline has wedged its way into every fiber of your being. If you were to die on the side of the road, you would have no one, you, really have lost all your friends. The puddle of blood is taunting you. Alone! You all alone with the only person you ever cared for. You died on the inside, long ago. When you started running! Running! The calamity of all that is yourself and your running to a blackness suffocating your life as you personality fades into brutality of others. You’re hurting so bad. You hurt so badly. It has everything to do with your running! You’re running from a life of honesty and taking a road of lies. You’re running from everything that asks you to give something of yourself, a lifeless run of panic, because the essence of character makes your quiver. The idea of something wholesome or honest disturbs you. It really is a narcissistic complex. You will not do anything that you do not want to do. You can not see yourself giving to anything that does not benefit you. You don’t hang around somewhere to develop relationships, but, you’ll hang around if you’re being entertained. You call people only when you want something, cleverly, masking the words with genuine motives.

 

I hurt thinking of the countless things that you have done that disgust me.

I compromised myself. I justified myself. “A quick-temped man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.” – Proverbs 14:17.  I didn’t let the things you did take traction.

The wretched things that you did looked almost permissible, yet, effectively I’ve put some lenses on that give the clear sight and steadfast judgment to discern unquestionably that your actions are impermissible and without excuse. Sadly moreover, you relish in their malicious effects on others. You are the only reason you lose all your friends. Because people can see that you hurt others, and it does not bother you. But, for the people who have hearts, they care that others are in pain. They also see they can’t remain to associate with a monster.

 

You’re running! Running! From the love that could fix you and mock my faith as if it wasn’t important to me. You see in me the problems that are so unfair for people to blame faithlessness on. Hypocrite. I am. I am a messed up and broken person. I’m a man with a frailty disposition. But, I’m not the reason that you run!

In all that I’m faulted with from you, I’m not the reason you can’t give into the love.

There is a chase. Someone is running after you. Christ wants to hold you dearly. You’re a child and He wants to take your sins and hold them closely to a cross. You’re not running anymore, your being chased. You don’t have to recognize this for it to be true. You don’t have to believe at all. For Jesus to still want you. It does not matter how far you go. It does not matter how fast you run. He’s not out of reach. It does not matter what you think. It does not matter what you’ve done. He is still not out of reach. He is very much in touch where you’re at. 

Why?

I have so much to say but it seems like I can't speak to save my life. I yearn to express these burdens, trials, frustration, joy, laughter and accomplishments. However if I express frustration - Am I complaining? - Or if I have an accomplishment - Am I bragging? - Or - Taking the glory from the Father who deserves the recognition? - However when I do speak, I do so abundantly and with unnecessary elaboration. So my listener really hears yadda, yadda, yadda (Or did they listen patiently?). Complex indeed! Because now based on my action I'm judging their reactions immediately without notice. Should I really approach someone who has sinned agenst me in sheer spite? Ahh! Troubled is my mind. How do I keep my friends accountable without them thinking that Im trying to be better than they are? Moreover ask You didnt used to cuss why now? knowing their response will be an excuse. Retorting with a tainted justification aimed to make me look like the Holy legalist. Maybe I need to get out of my Christian diapers. Apparently I have to grasp a rope & scale this character flaw(s). Until _____~!n HIS grip,-D

Exhibit A - Part 1

I said to myself one day. "Dan, today is the day you will not sin!" - The first thing I did was lie to myself. It's the curse of everyone fails! True, everyone does fail. However, its so patronizing to here that all the time, coat it over, make it ok? When will we hear more of "Everyone succeeds" Everyone does succeed. Look, its simple. I made someone laugh. BAM! However, whats more exciting? I saw someone get shot! Or I saw a person smile today! Point is, there is a war of opposite ends, the positive and negative, the righteous and the unrighteous, good-bad, God & Satan. I'm convicted right now. Really something fierce. I was under the impression I should fear God. Because, the uncomfortable-empty feeling in my gut I got back before I knew the truth. Follow with me here- Fear God, yes. However do not fear God to do harm to you like Satan strives to do. You are His creation, child and temple. HE LOVES YOU! Wow, really think about that. In correlation think, the time you was tucked in by your mom/dad/ yadda, yadda. Guess what? Now your blankie is a lil thing called everlasting salvation. Your being tucked in by the Creator of the universe. Call me crazy...but! That excites me. HE LOVES YOU! An individual, a fireman, banker, student, prostitute, gambler, preacher, priest, drug dealer, alcoholic, a child you are, no more nor less than any other child. It's crazy I know. Moving on. What is the WORSE thing you can do to someone at a church? Got it? Not talk to them, not shake their hand, turn the blind eye and give someone the cold shoulder. Agree? I don't know, but I really think there is a difference when someone is welcomed and warmly greeted, then someone walking in saying hi and sitting down? The question "How are you doing?" Really means "I acknowledged your presence." Our words can affect everything. One time I got a message saying "Daniel, you should watch what you say; not saying that what you said to me was bad. But your words really affect people." I was so shocked, I hadnt talk to this individual in months and they show up out of no where. Cause my words kept me on their mind. I never understood the power of words until then. I say that to bring you to this. Recently it seems as my tone and what I say may come off as somewhat abrasive, judgmental or maybe even come across as a cutting remark. If I have come to you in such a way as previously described.Forgive me please, It seems these days everything ours friends cant live without competitionTo a point where it is not fun anymore really brining in bogus rules and stupid situations. I mean what happened to a nice game of pa-diddle? Overwhelming case of the 1-upers anything you say/do I can do one more. If you hit the shot, Ill hit it twice. Im infected with this disease and may have one of the worse cases. However, Im going to improve. Notice I didnt say try. By saying try you imply effort, when effort is giving there is results. I will improve. I have to humble myself Im way to cocky/competitive/ arrogant and proud. I can say that. So stop the games, its not about whose better I had this terrible misconception that if only I can slam them with a good joke, or make fun of them it not such a bad way. Its all good. Theyre cool with it, NO! But, apparently giving your best friends encouragement and support isnt the cool thing to do. We have to misconstrue it somehow because were guys. If we are what we say we are (Christians) and we do what were supposed to do. Wouldnt we be convicted when we dont rain love down on your closest of peopleOH! Hold on, random point. But if you dont respect your earthly parents, how in the WORLD are you going to respect you Godly father? I cant stand it when people take their parents for granted. Some of the people I know have no clue what I would do to eat with my Mom and Dad at a diner. Or get a call and something as simple as How is your day son? I mean, it almost really brings me to tears, and I dont cry much. But, there your parents not mine. So that lil tangent may very well go in vain. But I say to you this, if you ever had your parents absent of your life you would think differently. God knows I do. Ok, back to the loving others. Jesus said you are to esteem others, build their confidence and give them comfort. Yadda, yadda. Enough said Im rambling now. I might add to this later.

Mud Sling.

I'm here in Adair Co Ky. Spending time with my familey and friends. Seeing images of my past come alive, seeing how people have changed, visiting my lovley grandmother. There is so many things about here, I miss. For example the scenery here in comparision to Logan Co is ten fold. I miss the ability to walk down the street to hang out with guys that I have known since I was 7. I miss the nights when I look up and I am enthrawled by the sky because it is so rich in stars. I miss my Daddy, yes I said Daddy.
I just got back from Impact. 10 amazing days of an atmosphere of surrounded by God's loving people. Around 2500-3000 people representing the greater southern United States. Come together under the name of Jesus Christ, to change their lives. Now, in realilty some of the people there was not there of a sprirtual charge whatsoever. But, in the enviroment created you can't help but see God's awesome glory. I get so sad knowing people have came to Impact, fully knowing how to block out God for that week. But, my experience @ Impact was again, phenomonal, I got to be the "DJ" and it was a diffrent experience, fun, stressful at times and rewarding. I wish not to do it again, I would rather have campers under my wing. I got to see some old friends that I havent seen, grow closer to people (wink cowgirl) and help out with concerts and meet people. Most of all, Jesus Christ in my relationship, a passionite, intimate yearning for my savior. The theme this year was the Story. -great theme- and it really got me to thinking, belittling me, knowing I have chapter 1, until my final page. My mortal body is meak, nevertheless reassurance in Christ I will live in paradise with Him for eternity. Every year I delare "Impacts" in my life, Deep- The begining, Impact was making God previlant in my life.Mystery- Impact was knowing God is always with me, and never can lose His love for me.Escape- Satan is good @ his job, However there is always a way out, you can do all things through Christ. Story - My prayer life. I can pray continually, in constant conversation with my big daddy in the sky.I reckon thats it. Goin' to a mud sling, yesterday was a truck pull, thrusday was a trackor pull...What? I live in Kentucky Yo!Grace & Peace,Have a wonderful day
In HIS grip,dan.

Flowers, quickly fade. (Ode to Death)

Us, as humans, as fragile animals are here willed only by God. Phycical death is something that is reality. I wasne't going to write a blog on the recent tragities until today. When I found out that another person I cared for has passed away. This has been really hard for me. You have to look past my plastic emotions. Frankly this sucks. In the past month, there has been:Kyle & Courtney car wreckDanny Blick passed awayNathan fatal car wreckOffuts fatal car wreak lost ErinNow. yesterday Pete Hall killed while helping our preacher move into his new home. I have almost had it. But I need refuge and strenght. I almost cant believe ALL this has happend in such a short time, I remeber when it all started and I watch Kyle & Courtney be life-flighted to Vandy, THEN driving down that night. Spritual death is only reality when sin is the centerfold. When Jesus, whom they called Christ is the focus of your heart, you WILL NOT DIE! You live on! It's something so amazing so powerful we can't really comprehend it, the closest we get it just saying it. I watched Pitch Black last night. There is a scene where another planet fills up the horizon. That scared me, cause I immeadilty thought of Armogeddon.? Dunno why, however I know its something I should look forward to, being on the Lords Army. However somethins so cosmic, so titanic scares the crap out of me. Cause I am nothing. I am nothing.

Thoughts current in Dan. MORE!!!

Hi ladies and gentlemen. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion/absolute in my life."I always change."I like to question things.andargue.So, a recent development in my life is that. I love politics, isen't that verred! If my 2 readers would... I would like for them to bring up a political topic in the form of a comment on this blog, so I in turn can express my views on that particular topic.Probally won't happen. Nevertheless, there is more to share.I am reading two books right now. You should read them too. Velvet ElvisRants From the Red State Comedian. Thank you Brad Stine, cause your views are all over this blog. I also, just wan't to add. I HATE MY JOB. But, it's money that advances my current cause in this point of my life, which is to please my thirst for knowledge in a institue of higher learning and it pains me everyday I'm not in a class. I never thought I'd say that.I think its about to storm. Goodnight.PRO-LIFE / PRO-CHOICE- for trees.Here we go. "Pro-life w/ choice." My views are complicated, but stick with me. To be pro-life dosen't stop with abortion, I take it to the death pentality, war, yadda yadda, Pro-life till I'm blue in the face. Nevertheless complications in that. There are always going to be stipulations, matters, occurences that pop up, ""A mother is pregnat, however if she goes thru delivery theres a chance the mother will die, not to mention the baby is also handicapped."" Pro-life? In that case its a matter of judgement w/out judgement (from 3rd partys) When it comes to two individuals having narsasistice indulgences i.e. "SEX FEINE" and end up with another human life, with a heart beat, pulse, a baby. I would move toward being a law that they delivery the child. Cause that in turn is murder, we have laws on murder. (some argue when life begins? duh, heartbeat. shut-up) If you make the "choice" of 10 minutes of pleasure, and end up with nine months of nurture of another life, thats your choice. You make the consiense desision. So, if because you don't have the resources, or compedence to foster a childs early years. Give them to a family that can't have a child that would love that child dearly. Ultimily I see it God, then Constitution. I'm a advocate for our countrys libertys and freedom. But not w/ out moral implications or else the very reason this country was founded would be in vain. Abortion should be an case by case descison with few absolutes. Like I said absolute being "sex fiene" Safe, legal, very rare. And for the people that come about with the argument. "What about raped women who get pregnat?" I say this, It's a horrible reality, but. In all the cases of abortion, only 3% of them are rape/incest/yadda yadda. I could add, but you get my gist._--------------------------------------------------Ashey. I love you girl.WAR WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR, ABSOLUTLY NOOOTHING. Ahh yeah!Good song, terrible message. There is a time for war and a time for peace, as a follower of Jesus, I'm convicted that finding peace is every situation is a good way to live. Nevertheless. There is time for war. Iraq is complicated also, see. We wen't in under confustion, and abrubtly. Now, to be honest going to in may ultimtly be a good thing. Saddam Hussain is out. "PROBLEM" The message to America that the war we we're fightings goal was NOT getting Hussain. We wanted Bin Ladin! Bush, Bush, Bush, the only president to have a record on both side of approval ratings, In early 02 had the highest presidental approval rating ever. Eairler this year, had the lowest, sucks to be him. However he said we're fighting a war on terriorism, not on non-existant weapons of mass destruction. As for the war in Iraq, I think the descsion could have seasoned more, maybe more dipolmacy. War on Bin Ladin? Get him, its justice time. However, I'm trying to hurry. Bear w. me If we leave Iraq now. We're going to face big big problems. Understand the question is not. "How do we get Hussain out?" It's "whos comming next" Its called a vaccum of power. I so wish I could explain this, but think of why we're still in Korea's borders, we have huge base in Germany, Japan? Vaccum of power is; In my opinon why we have catholics. but thats a diffrent topic altogether. This its fragemented and poorly relayed, Ashley forgive me. Love you.---------------------Ok, next. gay rights...Do I judge, scorn, mock, scouff? No. thats wrong. Have I yes. duh, i'm human im not superman. i can mess up. you see something abnormal it usually will be riduculed.its harsh truth of human nature.people make fun of the abnormal. Fats/ mental retarted/ old/ ugly/ short/ tall/ stupid/ skinny/ birth defects/ unathletic/ down syndrom/Do they destroy the santicity of marrige? No more than heterosexuals that get married 4 times in a lifetime.Should we pass a law that says they can have a legal binding document that says boy+boy= marrige. I'm leaning towards no. I think that if your gay. all that matters is the relationship? that your in love (as preverse as that may be) marrige shouldent be defined as a piece of paper. i don't want my child growing up thinking they can marry there best friend. as far as the arguemnt that homosexuality is a disease?/your born w. it.ask these colleges that did the studies saying its a condition thats developed / choice you make. i would name them off, but i dont have that recource handy. but i was just recently informed of the efforts between serveral diffrent colleges in diffrent areas of the united states to finish off this myth.i'm not a gay basher.i see probelms in marrige on both sides. nature demands boy & girl to advance life.they choose somoene of their own sex to develop a relationship with....OK. you have the relationsip. don't bring in the leagalities and propaganda of marrige.founders of the country wasent' having this conversation.it was so far fetched its like putting speed limits in the constituition.dont force your culture on consitution. i'm not asking for the president for a law that requires not cuss words.-__----------------------ANNNNNNNIMALLLLL RIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!!!please excuse me while i barf.ok, good. look if you know me. at all you know and understand that i love animals, i realllllly do. i lost two puppies this year and it killed me. but the people that go around telling me that animals are equal to humans. should be taking out to the jungle w/ out anything and see how the animals treat you. the very fact we're discussing this means we're better. i wan't sharks to stop eating people! can we get a human/shark transltor. tell them its mean. now, to adress the unethical treatment of animals...thats cruel. but if i shoot a dear. THEN EAT HIM. I'M FOLLWING NATURE, duh. please, someone give me a duh, why are we having this coversation. people are always like dont wear fur! NEVER WEAR FUR!!!!! how do you think the indians survived in the cold plains of kansas. ON AMERICAN TURF. w/ out fur. they didn't have tofo jackets. and and and. the people that don't wear fur, wear leather. and guess what, thats beef jerkey w. a zipper. i dont want to be maliocius w/ these people. but they have got to get some common sense, i will eat beef cause I'M A CONOVORE. how many vegans you know that have a good immune system....ok, my point is. i love meat and it adds to my heath. peta can help the dolphins that are caught in the TUNA net. ........the tuna net.WHAT ABOUT THE TUNA. IN THE TUNA NET.ok ok, if there is mistreatment of animals like, beating, bad dog catchers or whatever do your job. don't tell me what i can/cant wear/eat. thank you and goodnight. ------------
case by case judgement w/ out judgement. my lil quote.as a human, i don't have the right/postion/power to have another man killed as punishment. what is more cruel. living w/ no life?dying?this may be a lil crazy. but what if we asked the murderer. do you want to die?or live here in this 3x3 cubical for the rest of your numberd days?
which one is death?like i said, im not one to go around and use the death pentalty lightly.if it is used. it shoulent be publizied like most of them are. it should be descret. i know you can't stop the media from the information to report about but you can stop them from watching him walk the line. Personally, this one is to big for me. Its so confusing/deep...your talking about shocking someone into eternity...
dude kills 10 people. we kill him?
who wins? Is justice mocking what he was doing? GRRR dang you Justin. Its like life sentences to jail. Or these are my favorite. dude is 30 goes to jail...his sentence...100 years. lol. whats up with that. God.The ultimate judge.Dan.Layman.

signs

Signs- Weird blog (not)I blog in reference to recent happenings simply because I am annoyed. See, when people see a sign the usualy respond to it (according to its consequence) Like, a traffic signal. If a brave soul was to ignore the efforts of a red traffic signal, they're going to find themselves 1) REALLY LUCKY or 2) REALLY PHYSICALLY HURT.Signs don't stop there. What if, you're an individual in which your life of recent has been austrcizied, due to seemingly external efforts effecting your poor innocent self. Here's a clue for you, if the people you knew and 'loved' were shying away from you as a whole, then blame is not placed on the majorty. History shows majorities (usualy) always right. Mind the perspective however, minorities have been the benefactor of 'whipping boy' if you will. Mind perspective again, NOT THE CASE!See, resolution efforts are futile to whom which no resolution is desired. One time a 'christian' calls upon me doom, saying I was hell bound for the sins I have commited, against God and my brothers in Christ.----Now your done laughing. Firstly, to place eternal judgement on one's soul other than yours is almost heresy.Secondly, on top of bringing in religious connotaions, contiuning to cuss me out, scold me and place my postion in society as a orphan. (which is wrong in and of itself)Jesus loves orphans.Bringing in a enchalade of other people to come to your aide at others expense never advances selfish resolutios either.SO, lets just stop it. Does this highway of signs have and red octagon screaming stop. Is it really worth avoiding others? Is it worth losing friends? Is it worth dropping memories as if they was bad candy? I say, -not so much- Jokes are no long apreciated as jokes anymore, however now there just taken as malicious cuts. (that intention was not in mind)To be Christian, means to be "In Christ"To be "In Christ" means you follow his teachings.His teachings are perfect.Grudges suck. They ruin frienships. So, I swallow my pride. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I applogize.ps. Personal relationships with Christ only come from the indiviudal's own heart.-fact.I'm Daniel Collins, and I approve this message.

Obeidience.

No such thing seems like when it comes the people I'm surrounded.I'm upset, but I can't tell them, I wan't more, but they don't know.I'm a seeker. They're a pleaser? Maybe, maybe I'm wrong, but if I we're I'd see change. Change, crazy concept, most people don't get it. Everyone has it, its an uncontrolable entropy of self. Digging, tearing, wearing on one's soul.So, people don't, don't change. "I love Jesus!!! NOT"Kinda, the way I see things at times.
I'm not superman, don't make the claim. But I seek His heart. Cause I love Jesus.Thanks, Good goo!

Friends

How can I know who my friends are? Proverbs 17:17One way is a test of loyalty. A genuine friend loves us through the best and worst of times. In fact, a friend's true colors are revealed when we go through ususually difficult or painful circumstances. According to Proverbs it's preferable to have one or two close, intimate companions than a host of superficial acquaintances. The person who maintains only surface relationships with a wide number of people may eventually face ruin for lack of good advice when it is really needed (18:24)True friends also wound us. They're willing to tell us the hard truth, even when it hurts. We can trust their honest feedback, but an enemy only 'multiplies kisses' (27:6). Beware of someone who does not have the courage to confront you when you need it. Some people make poor friends--those who would entice us to join them in crime, forexample (1:10-19). Drunkads and gluttons are also on the list of people to avoid because of our material possessions or wealth. When financial hardship strikes, they disappear (19:4,7). Gossips should also be shunned. Thier habit of sharing inapporopriate and private matters inevitably separates close friends. (16:28). -Quest, Study Bible.NOW GO VOTE. Fo, I whoops you.Best reguards,Dan.
John 9-17 (its a real gas.)

Sweet isn't sweet....Without the bitter.

I noticed every detail on her face, and all emotionsspill from her eyes. She has everything I need & more. She loves GOD more than she loves me! (The way it should be.) I lead her spriutually. Comform to her every need. Shes Holy, Outragous, & Trustworthy. I feel her heartbeat resignate off her chest everytime when I hug her. She tells me "I love you." God made her perfect for me. I can't wait to find out who it is.

To these, the diffrence I see.

Hell, fire, brimstone.Not really happy thoughts. However, its something of my everyday thinking.I'm a Christian, and for me that goes so much farther than saying I believe in God.I'm upset. and confused.Simply, if you love someone you tell other people about them. Right? Right!What if two people to claim to love the same person...One person does something contrary to the love they claim.The other simply wants to understand, help, and improve the 'relationship'I'm convicted of that.But, every single time I invite them to Church to uphold the 'love' they claim. It's "No, I'm busy."Lying, cheating, stealing, premarital sex, cussing drugs, lust.YADDA YADDA YADDA.It's not a checklist to being perfect. of 'what-nots'You have the will to choose. I choose to be diffrent, to be in Christ.No means being perfect. I'm not "clean living"But, I have conviction.Sin is a seperation of God's love.Hell, fire, brimstone.Heaven is full of people God lovedHell if full of people God loved2 TIM 3:10You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance,I'm praying for the individuals that inspired this blog.To them I say. I love youI really do.

Bereavement, commiseration indeed for those in need.

5 people I know have passed away this year.Monday, Buddy Barry, someone whos been in my life since I've been in diapers passed away of a heart attack. The morale is "Who's next?"A friend of mine recently blogged about the new year comming up soon, and that if it came any fast, no one would would have their feelings hurt. ( I wouldn't)I'm in a state which I'm unable to describe in words or expression.With all the recent deaths I can't help but to collect God's awesome power.(I'm so grateful he brought my grandmother home.)I would be doing an injustice to those who ignore God's majesty. At any moment your time could be up, your trip could be over, life stops.Do you know what happends after life stops? Some of you don't. Some of you may believe, nothing happends. Eternal unconsciousness. Some may believe that you find nirvana.Some believe you find paridise, or hell.I'm here to encourage you to find out what happends when you die. Because if you can gather some solid evidence about what really goes on after you die, that is beyond the Bibles rock solid answers. I will change then and there.I encourage you to find truth. I don't want somone to come to Jesus by fear tactics. I wan't believers to sprint to Jesus because he said who he was. He is who He really is. Most professing Christians believe in Heaven, and not hell.Why is that?Can't live like hell, and be rewarded heaven.Wan't to know more...Let me know.

This is what love is. The capture, the moment.

Am I alone in this?never a night where I can sleep myself till daywe must try to figure it out, figure it outit won't be that easy.we lost it somehow.you come over unannounced.silence broken by your voice in the dark.I need you here tonightjust like the ocean needs the waves.
I, I, I, and I don't know what to say. I've put these feelings off and as they sit on the back burner they're only marinating in exhaustive thought.

This is a blog of my heart-from my heart.I have always heard that every time you 'go-out' with someone your giving a bit of your heart away, every time your physical with someone, you lose a little of yourself; giving it to the designated trustee. I never listened, till now.I'm not going to try to explain love, its more complex than I. I do know that I have got some things figured out for myself however. One, the 'amazing woman' (It's her title in my prayers LOL) I will someday claim will love Jesus more than she loves me. She is going to have such an intimate passion for Christ that it's going to be nothing less than 'amazing' Moving on, Love is not finding someone perfect, that's simply stupid. In fact, I'm in no way looking for someone to be that superficial. I need someone to be real. Tell me their flaws, tell me they mess up! Tell me that sometimes, they're going to need me. As I, will need them. Love is not the amazing working bond of two independents. It's the interdependence on two people who need each other, spiritually, mentally, socially and physically. Love is something that is not bound by trivial issues. Example- Love isn't going to stop because Bobby said he wanted to settle in New York, and Sally wants to live in Los Angels. If, love truly is the factor one for they're relationship. That's ultimately not going to be an issue. Love, love, love. It's tough. Sweets not sweet without bitter. Bad can not be bad, with out an opposite being good. Love can't be good, with out some tough times. I love that! I love being able to overcome tribulations, arguments, fights, bickering! Trials will come, things will happen and sometimes life can be shattered. Love can prevail. I am sure of that. I can only hope I live out Ephesians 5 for 'amazing woman' completely satisfying the contents of 1 Corinthians 13.In reality I have no idea what God has planned for me. He is the only one that knows who 'amazing woman' will be. That goes for you too. Are you dating someone? Do you know or think that God has placed them in your life or are they another character in your story? I'm not sure who 'amazing woman' is. Maybe, just maybe, I've met her. Maybe it's someone I never thought could be. Maybe it's someone that I thought could. I don't know. I'll end with this.So when you say foreverCan't you see you've already captured me?
I'm Daniel Collins, and I approve this message.

Space, Kids and Truth.

Have you ever sat at night and had these gut-wrenching feelings from the pit of your soul rip you apart in fear, a bottomless gap, a black hole of sorrow spawning into eternity? I have.It's pretty consistent every time I think of space, God, death. This feeling comes back, resurfaces and shows its ugly face again. We are a species so divine we need to know everything. Crazy, I know! We're not satisfied with knowing that we don't know. We breed the idea that if its not been proven by science it can not be real. What's past science? Is there more? It's a philosophical question. It is deep in nature, simple in presentation. It's the catalyst for my 'episodes.' What would a kid say when asked do you believe in fairy tales? It's sometimes hard for me to play with kids because I've at some point lost the idea that you can imagine!Matthew 18:3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.I'm a theist! I believe in one God that gives me purpose and value. I believe that he is my heavenly father and he will provide for me perfectly and even if times are tough. I will trust in Him to be just to me, as His child. I want to be a KID.I usually solve my cosmic doubt by praying that God give me proof. God give me apologetical reassurance that He is there. Here recently I've had a couple of run-in's with God's majesty. Some answered prayers for close friends, some friends being a wonderful example and light to the world, God is alive, and working! But, I'm real; I'm human and have my times of doubt and concern. Ultimately, I seek God's absolute truth, with-out being parasitical and dogmatic, with out being abrasive, stopping pseudo 'truth doctrine' and truly exhibit an authentic faith and being a fruitful disciple of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior; finding that you can commune with your brothers and sisters in Christ beyond denominational walls; finding that you can worship in more ways than one; finding that Jesus himself prays for unity. (John 17). So maybe, one day a bunch of 'kids' will finally make it to the playground together, seeing that we are all just silly children who love the same Daddy. That has no prejudice in nature and who love each other and share candy. Knowing finally, that in the end it will be alright, cause at night, when you're alone, and scared of all the cosmic unknowns. Daddy will tuck you in. Tell you He's there and won't leave. Tell you that He loves you, and in the morning you know breakfast will be ready. Cause He's also your provider, sustainer. I love my Daddy-in-the-SkyPhilippians 2:15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

In harmony with Heart, through absolute humility

So yesterday my friend Austin and I took a little trip to Glasgow, Ky. A cute little town nestled on the Cumberland Parkway in the center of Ky. We went there because a mutual friend of ours, Daniel McCarley, was speaking at his church. Now, he had expressed that this was going to be different and that he was really excited about the service. Service started.A seemingly normal service except they handed out white towels, and bags of soap powder, the worship the whole church was singing new songs and afterwards a video was playing while Daniel narrated. Service was about sacrifice, obedience, humility, service, servant hood, submissive, humbleness, being the meek.Simply putting others before you.Service was about John 13, last supper when Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. Talk about being submissive! This is the Son of Man. Jesus Christ washing the feet of people who will soon deny Him, betray Him, and run in fear. That is the standard Jesus set. Peter even apposed. He's like nut-uh Jesus, no way should an employer wash the feet of the employee, or a teacher to the pupil, a minister to his church, or a Messiah was the feet of a fisherman. But, Jesus, in His wonderful wisdom lovingly retorted with8 "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."Wow.It's amazing to be how people in this "igeneration" have gone to great extremes to show how much they "imatter" & for me, "iguilty."I dare you to count how many times you say "I" in one day, or hour. How many times are you thinking of yourself?I found out a pretty stunning stat during that sermon. You see,back in the dizzay, like 30s, 40s & 50s, there was like a 10% depression ratiobut, ever since the culture has moved to more of the pleasing yourselves and being egocentric and pride and stature. The depression ratio went up 30 percent. See, back in them days, even during the great depression people still helped other people with out fault or failure. No circumstance stood guard for the loving people's benevolence. Thank you Daniel for your wonderful lesson, Thank you Jesus Christ for being my Lord and Savior, and setting the example, and saving my life, my soul. Without Jesus, Dan. is.Less than dirt.JOHN 13 1-17Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet
1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.[a]
2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"
7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"
10Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. 12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Talk about praises?

Praise God.Great and Almighty.You see… to me acclaim, worship, praise, exalt. Is SO much more than "Just as I am"SO much more than opening a song book with routine people who sing to the cieling, just to have it bounce back...Because their hearts aren't in focus, or resegnatin with genuine reverence.This blog is about worship to the Father in Heaven who loves any picture you paint, and is going to put it on His majestic fridge. Psalms 8:9 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!So when you wake up hit your knees early. Worship God in gladness and authenticity. Not going to lie…lately has been tough for me. This week I heard that my Grandmother (Ruth Wade, keep her in constant prayer) has to get her leg amputated. I go to see her Saturday, I don't know if I'm prepared for this forthcoming tribulation. I'm a real dude; I'm not some SUPER CHRISTAIN! I'm not an amazing preacher who's got it all figured out. (or preacher at all) I'm at times really dumb, ask anyone. At times I trip and fall, and find God somewhere on the back burner. I'm no better than anyone else on this earth. Praise God in the storm; put your faith to the test! Atheists are ones that really confuse me. Cause they claim there is no such power superior to us, in any way.They are offended by something they don't believe in. (like saying the tooth fairy is in the National Anthem)So, to them there is no God! However, as soon as they are in a bad situation. Example?HOUSE IS ON FIRE!You know they're praying they get out safe. Cause they are. I'm not being malicious, I'm speaking from experience. I respect atheists and their search for truth. But, ultimately I think maybe, somewhere, everyone understands there is more. More?Praise God in the storm, show God your faithfulness.It's hard sometimes…I've know life-long Christians who get angry with God because of certain situations that happen in a life-time. But, God, being the amazing Father he is, understands when kids get upset. Understands that sometimes children don't see like he sees them, in turn…bringing confusion, anger, doubt. God is so just and diligent. ( This is a real question, so comment if you would like, we'll chat)IS WORSHIP AN ACT PREFORMED ON SUNDAY FROM 9-10?Man, in my opinion, I sure hope not. John 4:24 God is spirit and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.Praise God in any way, whether the building you use is paid for by people you go to Church with or not. I say worship Him in your lifestyle. Worship Him in love, reverence and fear.In your paintings,in your poems,in your myspace,in your speech,in your songs,with your body, (novel concept) with your music,in your heart,mind,soul!Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.Worship is contagious, you worship, we worship, and they worship, its great fun.I love Jesus. I've been blessed by Him.I suck at life sometimes, and He loves me just the same!God bless you, and keep you.Hey, I bet God loves you...even if you don't know it.

amirrorreflectstime

A mirror reflects time.Yeah, I've been thinking about my upbringing, and past recently. Thinking on where I've been, what I've done, who I was with.I've been thinking a lot.The other day someone told me: "To know where your going, you have to know where you've been."(...that hit home)You see, for the most of you people, all 10 of you that read this boring monologe, don't know where I've been. I kind of like it that way. I don't really say much on or mention my childhood.But, I've been thinking.You see. In life your reflection is something you can cherish, not in vanity, but as a badge of honor. This is who you are. This is what God created, nothing to be ashamed of. Exspecialliy the girls out there struggling with self-image. (Hey, You're my beautiful child - God);-)Hopefully, you don't look upon yourself with disgust. I hope that you can say that your happy about where you are in life, and if your not, then change it.simple....kinda.Just a few minutes ago, I was driving in the reason schools will be canceled tommarow.[Blizzard]In my younger years, my dad, mom or whomever would be driving in the snow and I would have my face gluded to the window, never failed.I loved, loved, loved watching the snow fall and light hitting it just right so you can see that white glow shimmering down.But, tonight? NOO its diffrent. I was driving.I'm still watching the snow, amazed. But, I've been thinking.The image I got was that the snows always going to come.AKA. Life will have a million things comming your way, and you can keep driving.It's the beauty of it. It's the beauty of your reflection.keep driving.You're face is image of who you are and what you've been through. You're face is the picture God painted in reflection of all the things you can drive through.This is just a thought.Random thoughts. A peek inside my phycie.I hope you understand the amazing power of God's grace.your past will need His Grace.I know mine did.and your future will need His Guidance.I'm siked about that!I love snow,

atrocity letters

Believe what you may.Cause, know in the end you'll see the truth.I hope somewhere in your callaused heart your brokendeep within you, now that one and one make twoI love you so much, I hate to see you like this.----Believe what you may.But, you're never going to find life outside of your inner existance....You good sir, need to find out who you are.It's impossible to know what you're looking for when you're confused when looking in the mirror. It's experience speaking. It's the fact I know you better than you know yourself. It's because your so into relishing the idea that you got it all figured out. Take some time and do some self evalutation, and self discovery before trying to explain to someone who you are. Because in the end you will both be confused.I love you.----Believe what you may.But, witness dating is a false and dangerous fairy tail. It's corrupt and relfects personal selfishness. Now, who will you save yourself for beautiful child of God? Stop trying to find a 'love' and start looking for the love!I hope you see Him and love Him with all your mind, heart && SOULBecause as of right now, dosen't matter what you say. You're god and my God, are diffrent. Because I see the god you worship. You've made it clear.I love you.---FIN.

understanding with[out] false understanding

One of my deepest wish is to have a wonderful understanding of the Bible.Really, I do.I want to understand God's majesty to the extent I'm capable. I want to have a intimate relationship with whom I'm convicted of in my religion. But, I definitely don't want to get caught up in being "religious"I just heard this quote today."Are you going to die in your religion, or die in your devotion?"Could you be a martyr? Would you die for the cause of Christ?It gets so, SO, so frustrating for people to take the Bible out of context. I'm glad they're trying, that is awesome, but sometimes I wonder how they could miss the mark so badly...I've done it, but at least I have the ability to step away from what I've learned. Don't get so stuck in your ways that you can't change. Always, always, always question what you've been taught, it gives you so much more confidence in what you've learned, now that you've challenged it and give it legitimacy.Not to say that I got it all figured out, I don't. But, I do believe the people I surround myself with, and my spiritual leaders do have a substantial amount of knowledge working together in tandem and being consistent on most views, and if they're not, then that particular view is more times than not, trivial, and without circumstance.I'm somewhat part of a movement going on right now. It's called the emerging, or the emergent. Now, to try to pin-point the definition of this movement is like trying to play dodge ball with helium balloons.Cause, simply there is a variety of people. But, the focus is Christ.Emergent, is focused on living like Christ. Striving to meet His example. Seek and save the lost. Go on missions, do the dirty work. Church dress-code does not matter to us. AT ALL! (Neither does it matter to Christ, can't please Jesus with earthy material, duh) :) The church is focused less on the 'budget' and more on souls of the seekers. It's not a place where you come to make yourself feel better, it's a place where you lay down your burdens, meet and fellowship with other followers, and worship with all your heart. Seek Christ with all your heart, soul and mind. I hope that you've not got so routine in your faith that Sunday morning comes around and your punching a ticket, like its some 'event' I'm guilty as charged. I've been there and done that. I remember Sundays that I can't remember 3 words the preacher said, I was too caught up in the girl beside me, or the really cool looking ceiling.So, I want to understand the Bible, I want to be like Jesus, which the Bible tells me about. This may be new to some of you, but from what I know the Bible was not written in verses.Why do people read single verses and stand alone on that certain subject (as if it was the only verse relevant) giving it the title of a command and all the sudden think it's a sin not to follow? Some people get the idea, they get the gist on easy verses, I mean stab out your eye if you're lusting, chop off your hand if you're stealing...I mean, it's really easy to understand the stuff that might get too personal. But, what about other issues, real issues, that hinder your fellowship with God, or the effective faithfulness with the get this WHOLE body of Christ?Yes, more people are going to heaven, than just one certain denomination.It's true. There is no denominations in Heaven.Let's focus on Christ, and read the bible in sentences not verses. It so helps when your trying to get the point the author was trying to make, also, don't get to caught up in your ways that you can't change, because change sometimes brings truth, some of your doctrine may be false and just something of a tradition that has been passed down, question it. What is the purpose for Christ in this? Or question why don't you do something you should?Love as called...
add to the discussion-Dan.

Valentines

And, this week rest a holiday we all know of.....Valentines Day.
Or more properly for myself, singles awareness day.
Singles awareness day has always been that to me.
I've never had a true valentine. (gf during the holiday)
Chance, probably not. I suck at relationships.
The longest relationship I've held onto was 6 months. (that was because she never gave up)
I've never gave my full throttle heart to any girl at any time...ever.I'm one stone cold heart. Even w/ that...
I've been convicted of the ideology of the 'ONE'.
One person on this earth for me.
One person that will make my wife.
One.
wow.
Kind of a challenging prospect. Not much room for error.
No room for back-ups. No room for small misunderstandings
It's the ultimate serendipity.
Love, what a indescribable word. Love, the reason for the season, if you will
In the past month 1/2 I've done some self evaluation, some reflection on who I am, what I've done, where I've been...
What I've noticed about my 'love' life.
My past girlfriends.
or whatever they were.
I was a pig. And I hope that this Valentines Day rocks because I'm so happy being single. I'm so content in the fact that I can sustain myself in who I am, and my self image and do it with what's most important, Christ.
My savior.
We are His valentines. He gets butterfly's when we come to Him, and it's an amazing experience. Amazing...It's amazing to read the Bible and know when God's speaking to you.
So, hopefully, prayerfully, God will send me a girl who is focus is Christ. But, take this cup from me.
I'm content with His will...I'm totally digging the whole leaving life in HIS hands concept, being he's God and I'm not.
That goes for the whole girl thing too.
I've made A LOT of changes in my life in the past month 1/2
As well needed.
Happy singl...I mean, Valentines Day!

Dimonds are never born pretty.

It's rounding 3am.This is when I think. This is when my mind goes ape nuts with thoughts, ideas and more thoughts.So if you've been a "regular" in my blogs, you're going to notice something lately. I've been in a reflective mood. Now, I'm done with the preface.Life as you know it from right now will change.Change? Yes! Change…Like the world changes, every moment in history has change.Simple seconds have changed the whole world.You're world, brings what change?Let's take this to another level. What if? What if? You had never met your best friend. Or your girl friend. Or was not born in USA.Would you're life change? How have they changed you?Not to be arrogant, conceited or egocentric but I'm going to be honest. I was thinking about people in my life that I have affected. A couple in particular, but I digress.Point is, point being. You're life is utterly imprisoned by the people and environment you put yourself it.True? Yes.What person in your life made you who you are?Teacher?Parent?Friend?Foe?God?It rattles my noggin to think of rerouting my life without certain people in it. I'm so scared of what I might be! I mean, If I had a different youth minister.Oh, and putting other things into play. When I was in 10 years old, my 13-year-old cousin Kai passed away playing basketball…Heart failure. On the court. Right before Shepherd Vs Knifley.Complete shock. Tragedy.How would my Aunt's family be if he had not passed away 10 years ago?I'm still upset about that from time to time.From that point on Kai had an amazing impact on the direction of my life.Without his death, I would never have searched for God like I did afterwards.My grandmother would never had told me to "follow in his footsteps"That statement alone changed my world.Deep thinking. Deep thinking on where I would be right now if only Kai had survived. How would my family be different as a whole?You're turn…You're turn to find out who has shaped you. Who had an impact on your life. And, truly I hope you find out on what brought you to God.Or kept you from Him.Or keeping you from Him. Because for those who have God keeping them from Him can't use the "He's not real rhetoric."Everyone knows deep within himself or herself, deep inside they're searching for an peace that only God can command. A love that only God gives. A understanding that can only come from the Heavens. And forgiveness that is cosmic. Now, in conclusion. I would like to thank everyone for being in my life.Good, bad, ugly.Friend, Foe, Family.Amazing or trivial.Thank you very much for shaping who I am.I hope you can look back and see whom, how, when, why, you are molded and molding into this person you are.I hope you're happy with yourself. But, I pray that if you aren't you're convicted to follow the simple ways of Jesus, savior and Lord.Take this from me Lord. Take this my life. Make it yours. Oh Lord.You're delight.God, shape me to your likeness.Ever closer to Thee.Holy majesty above,How I love you,How you love me.Share with me your thoughts!

Something so insignifigant.

10:40 PM.70[mph]I'm speeding.I'm late.While driving in the Saturn SL1-it feels as warm and cozy as a night by a fireplace at Grandma's.Felt good.Real good.Listining to "Cities"Hearing the sound of a beautiful chours.Boys,Girls,People singing Fin. infultrating my speakers.I was speeding.In that moment I literally felt like I was in some space, time contiunum.Like I was travling through some warp zone.I was "warping" I'm a "warper"In some movieI was the next character.A collision of Garden State & Butterfly Effect.and...that was my ride to work.At 10:40PM70[mph]

I & Jude, one in the same on levels that go un-named.

I'm a little upset.I don't like being upset. People don't usually see me upset.Ever.Which kind-of sucks, because one part of me is screaming! "Take the mask off!"(I can get ugly when the mask is off.)The other part says with comfort. "It's alright child, with quiet words I'll lead you."(Submissive humility, again?)I would lie to you if I said it has not been stressful lately. I feel like I'm being battered unmercifully. "It's O.K. we love you oh dear Daniel…BUT!"You're not this, you're not that.Can you do this? Can you do that?You're too this, you're too that.You're too picky. You're too proud.You're a slob. You've got it all wrong.When will you be perfect oh dear Daniel?Lost. Cause.Cage match, me vs. the world.Lazy? Yeah.Laugh. I will not stop however, count that a common misconception.I am determined I will get back into school. I want so badly to be a youth minister.I wish the leaders in my life would help me spiritually. I said that.Because, I want that. I don't need to know the secrets of life. I don't need to know the in/outs of be acceptable. I need to worship more effectively. Pray with me, voluntarily.I'm looking into your spirit like a puppy watching beef jerky. Mouth watering with possibilities of what I could consume.What I could gain from your wisdom, experience and guidance.All, yet yielding to that of Christ.I need to know Jesus more.Convict me! Challenge me!Help me! I'm screaming!A simple phone call would be nice. Really, would go a long way, considering whom would call would also play into the whole 'effect' Walk with love? All subjective. What's your perception of walking with love?What really gets through to people? What is effective in showing "love?" Yeah, it's safe to say I'm changing my life.3 jobs is a considerable change for anyone's life.But, I'm not good enough for any of them.I'm getting so attacked for not sleeping enough, like I do it on purpose.I can't force sleep myself. Trust me I've tried. I love my jobs. I love that accomplished feeling when you're done off work.Love that. "I did something today."It's not even the money. I HATE MONEY. Really, I hate the fact that you have to have money to think about being successful in America. I mean really. If you're not making 30,000 a year.You're scratching the surface.Check your pockets!Do you have money it them?If you do, you have more money than MOST THE WORLD!And yet, ironically we need it the least.I hate money.I wish money did not exist.That would be awesome.People would utterly live their lives in complete benevolence.Give with no return.Bartering would not exist. However, on dat flip side. Money is nice, because I do 'need' it.Sometimes I do like having the ability to go get a nice shirt, starbucks or a sub.So I've got this currency complex developed and it's quite the debacle.Ohhhhhh alrighty then.Now that is all said and over with. I'm glad I got to vent.Expunge my bitterness.I feel better, kind-of.I wish I could articulate my expression in an example more effective than a blog.But, courage I lack.So, I suffice.At the end of the day I'm not worthy for anything.Jesus, so amazing. I love Him.That's core issue.I hope you can tell by my life.

will rocks cry out? (poem in 5) fragmented sentences. run-on, run-on.

No Jesus, you are not needed. All children will be cheated..It's indeed a forever blessed clamorof hate, horror.Contraire I say, Jesus is not to be scornSaves souls and loves people in porn.So say they. Ye who are unknown and dark."The truth shall set you free."in turn making the fallacies of this world imprison thee.Oh the lies, Oh the lies.Indeed tears and rips and criesWhy do they insist Daddydoesn't exist?Love is the key.Key that will unlock the inner me.Me? me! It's a pearl of 3.Case study inside yourself.all of you(s) clear it up and make clear then choose.I will die for those who don't believe.I'm tired of all the please and pleasReckless abandoned, follow without reservation.You're wicked until you except the invitation.Stone cold until you know the warmth of YahwehHe misses you dearly. I wish you knew. I wish your sex would let go and stop imprisoning you.It's a struggle trust me I know. But, trust in thine Kingand He will make truth known.Simple as 1,2,3. doe, ray, me.Follow Jesus. It's the way to be.I'll end with this dear friends. I'm talking too.It's the unrelenting forgiveness that is to boot.Can't explain the feeling it is. Overwhelming whenyour sprit ripped.In 2He and you.Love thriving, love crying, love that died.for you.Called agape.You can do it, I trust in you. If you're convicted.FOLLOW THROUGH.

Long after you die, you still shall shine.

We are all stars.We all shine.The one thing about working 3rd shift is that it takes away from one of my most treasured past times. Star gazing. I literally can look at a night sky for hours, and have. I am so awe struck by the intense majesty and gargantuan amount of space the little intrinsic details so well placed together like a forth grade puzzle. People deny God? Look up at night. Please in your soul, your deep soul, people who deny God still look for slight evidences. It's a spiritual defiance usually caused by an earthly mishap (divorce, rape, broken home, bad relationships, physcal abuse). I hope they know, they worship when they wonder. If I was not Christian. I would still be a solid theist. Too many things have gone so right.Yadda yadda, So, I said we all shine. Not literally, no. But, our lives continually perpetuate an image, a reputation, an honor, or passion. Some people totally dig UK. Their lives clearly exhibit that. To bad last night they cried.But, like stars that always have a light, which is always seen by others we always will have a communication from you. They receive how we act, talk, react. The fun, the pain, the triumphs, the shame. It always will shine. Stars. Stars.Stars.They are freaking millions upon billiongillions of them things right.They all have gravity.They all have a place.They all have brilliance. A star you are.In the 6 billion people in the world. You may seem that you have no significance. But, you're one in 6 billion.Who else on this earth can say they are who you are; your identity, your shine?Some people have the same names. That's all well and good kudos to the whole coincidence factor.But, I've know people who say your name is the best compliment anyone can offer. Because it is you. Unfortunately it can be a criticism as well.Some names include.Honorable, hard-worker, smart, talented, intellectual, here is a whooper. Fun. 3 simple letters to that beast of a word. I know some people who are identified as fun. That is a awesome name to have.Uh-oh. Some other names include.Irresponsible, misleading, sex-addict, drunk, drug-addict, lazy, dark, shady, deceptive, liar, cheater, bad friend, wicked, wicked, wicked.The thing is. No one calls you by these names. They're like a license plate. It's always behind you, and someone's always reading them. Seeing who you really are. How your star shines and the gravity of honesty that wraps around you. Proverbial gossip fuel. Sin? Yeah, so your live, the telecast of you. The names I've had are allover the place, there are several, good, bad, ugly. You name it. I'm not super-man. I've never been perfect or claimed to be. But, right now I'm clinging on the Christ and the Existence of the Father in Glory. They is real, dog.But, sometimes the contradiction comes in when your star and your so-called name collide.Example, sure.Christian. I know, I've lived being a hypocrite and a contradiction. Peoples called me out for that and for that I'm truly grateful. I'm now in a pursuit to find a authentic intellectually based faith centered on the evidences of the Bible and the teachings of the Christ, Jesus.So, what's up with your name and your stars light? Want to live like Hell and somehow because you were a 'good person' make it to the glorious heaven? I got a flash for ya. You can notmake it toheaven basedon worksYou're in no way going to be able to claim a Christian ideology put your twist on it and because you was a good person and didn't do anything bad to anyone. You now can suddenly make it to the streets of gold?I follow a dude that said He was the Way.Get this,Then proved it.I didn't say Jesus was the way, truth, light.He did. He died because of statements like that.A real historical figure really died. He said, hey kids, I love you. This is how you can be with me eternally.So, long after you die, your stars will shine. Like in space, they travel with their light until its caught up with it's self and then fully died. Romans or Greek one of the other asked one question when someone died, that alone qualified them to an honorable person after they passed. "Did they live passion?"

...and paths are narrow, but these gates will flood.

Scream, scream for you life. Not for your physical life, but one in beyond the reaches of our understanding.The one Jesus talks about.Scream you will, because you lived out being nice.Scream in futility.Scream in confusion.Scream because it's your choice.Scream because of eternal fire.Scream, no one will hear.Scream but your screams are like cheers.Fear tactics? No, that's not at all what Hell is about; Hell was not created for us.No, instead it was created for the devil and his angels.We simply choose this place.I say this place is real, it's a reality, and it's where some people I know will reside.For them, I will scream.I will scream Jesus can save you, nothing else.When they wonder why?Screaming wondering, their life was OK. They didn't murder anyone or steal $1000. Scream because you wanted to live life to the full right now. So your sex entraps you, your drinks fuel you; your drugs illuminate your senses. Porn is what you know you want to let go of, and is your deepest sercret. Lies are your past-time. Deception is your sport. Gambling is your crutch. Your so-called friends say they will help you. So they purchase your wickedness and foster the idea that image is what matters, when it doesn't. When you wonder why?Then will they fully understand the saving power of Christ blood. How deep it is, the knowledge and information that goes so far into Christ sacrifice.Screams will be heard, screams will scar me. I never will be able to imagine the pain, because it's beyond what's on earth. We will only get a tiny glimpse when you look at places corrupt.The biggest scream will come, even from atheist, even from other theist, from all when they feel the ripping separation anxiety when their soul is separated from the one who gives their life, even when they choose to mock His gift.I say screams, I say pain. I'm not saying this to scare you; it's just what's in the black and white letters.I see Hell as an absence of God, a full separation that is going to obliterate the object of your soul. God is God, anyone who goes against Him will go there, and it sucks, it's the opposite of the Good, it's not the balance of Good and evil, the good is overcame evil, and there is no balance. People want to argue that and argue that, but it's true.People don't want to accept the idea of Hell, punishment for a good lived life? No, it's denying Christ sacrifice. Many a seat is Church will know the pain of Hell for their unfaithful "punch the ticket faith" The I'm going to Church to be a make-myself-feel-good-about-myself-christian. I'll tell you what saves you and gives you much, much more.Jesus.His blood, His Cross, His example.Hell is not the equal opposite of Heaven. Heaven will fly far beyond the imaginable Hell. Heaven is a dimension unknown. I try to bring a little heaven to earth. By being a follower of Christ. Sometimes, no a lot of times I'm no good, and I stumble, but so great about the Bible, gives you ALL the answers, Christ will forgive you, and love you the same.Worship -because He loves you.-out His name.-because that's all that matters.Screaming is what He's doing because His child didn't hold His hand when they said that would follow through.

Solemn apologies for swearing cruelty.

Blessings.Sometimes are real.It's so cliché to say you've been blessed these days. It's sometimes makes me sick to my stomach when people list the things that's going wrong in their life. When they don't stop to consider what's going down in other peoples lives. In America, narcissism has reached its best, Satan has a strong foothold, it's bigotry of humanity and I'm totally guilty.But, the blessings I've been seeing lately are really starting me to think/thank.-I've made some incredible new friends. -Just last night one of my friends accepted Jesus as their way of life, their Lord, their Master, their Everything.Blessing? -I got a full-ride to WKU.-I'm feeling well, I'm getting along with others.-Spent time with family.By all means my life is not perfect (no ones is) it's got some loose ends that I'm not sure will ever be tied.But, it's ok. I'm feeling good. It's a kind of like what the Bible says.Your peace will transcend all understanding.Shocker.But, true. I mean at the end of my day I'm still got my freshy freshy. But, in all reality I don't want to be a complainer. Because I am so blessed. When I put in my net worth all together I have more money that most the world. I'm 20 and it almost really convicts me knowing I have some serious pleasures going down in USA. While children all over the world, and in America too, are starving, not because their trying to loose weight, but rather because they have no food to eat at all. So, I don't want to complain anymore I'm blessed beyond comprehension. I will however, it's inevitable, but I just don't want to fill everyone in on how tired I am. Or what's ailing me. Or how hectic me schedule is. It just seems like every time I turn around I have to tell something to someone that is negative, or negative about someone else. It's awful. complain, complain, complain.I got an idea!?!Encourage. Something, I think, I lack seriously. I'm more of a critic. I'm quick to tell people what's down wrong or whatever. But, I'm totally digging what my boy Paul said in a letter to this town called Ephesus. I'm trying to get on a kick where I encourage, praise God and build people up. Jesus said to gain self-esteem, you must esteem others first. I think that's an awesome deal. Ephesians 4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Dude-Paul says we should go as far that it BENEFITS others when I speak.Guess that takes away from that whole profanity idea. He even addresses that specially.Ephesians 5:4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Dude, this Paul guy is onto something. I'm going with the contention that what he saying is good?His little acquaintance James topped off the cake in my opinionJames 3:3-6When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. ...9-10With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness? Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.So, hopefully, prayerfully I can get my mouth to work more for the Lord. A reoccurring event at work that kind of put this into play for me, I realized how much my lips had been giving up on D.No, I didn't cuss.

in.this.mass.suicide.heavens.joy.cries.rejoicing.angels.will.fly.

I've committed suicide.Death to self. One definition of suicide is: Destruction of one's own interests or prospects. Destructionof one.You see, Jesus' death was crucifixion. The most deliberately atrocious, humiliating, inhumane, death of all.-All-time-So powerful, that within 2000 years, billions of people would die with it, as their head-stone.Some even died the same death, for the same cause.-Salvation through Christ, imparting life, eternal.-Peter, a disciple of Jesus, was crucified up-side-down reportedly, because he was not worthy of the same death of Jesus some 30 years later.Wow. I wish I had that kind of faith. Faith that acts.This dude lived with Jesus. Most people don't get along when living with each other. This dude died the most horrific of all deaths, upside down, to promote this Man.One word.-SAVIOR-Jesus is, was, will be. Good note…–John 14:6So, he acted by faith on what he seen in reality. I'm sure no one would die for something they didn't believe in. Especially, if it was a hoax and you was about to be crucified for it 30 years down the road. Get this, he said "Turn me upside down, I'm not worthy."Everyone that heard of being crucified had some really bad implication too. Ever thought that a dude about to die of lethal injection was a good guy? A guy you would follow? A guy you would die for? Would you wear a syringe around your neck? Would you commit your life to their example life?nonononono.No. Dumb, dumb, dumb. The connotation of Christ death on a Cross was severe. Everyone in that town (Jerusalem) told Christians they were idiots, and they were blasphemous.Because Jesus was not the son of God and dying on a Cross means you're a criminal.Christ? Criminal? Being wrong? Yes. People thought that. Even after three years of that whole Messiah complex.You know: healing people, raising people from the death, miracles, and the works. This carpenter, Christ would die by the hands of His religious leaders, in a shameless medium of another cultures {Romans} execution. A wooden Cross, nonetheless.Amazing irony. Or is it? Check out Psalms 22, Isaiah 53:7Prophecies, before crucifixion was used for capital punishment.Crucifixion came around about 7 BC.Psalms was wrote spanning around 300-1100 BC.So, it didn't happen and they wrote it in. A real God, really prophesied. Amazing irony.In the midst of all that's going on with Jesus being crucified. The Christians of that day had the faith, audacity and courage to say.The Cross is our Symbol.You guessed it if you're thinking people ran.Cause they did! Remember, you're crazy; you're a criminal and a blasphemer.Yeah, now THE CROSS is your symbol? To bad our happy-go-lucky, uninformed culture thinks it's a fashion trend. They might not like it so much, death isn't trendy. Torture is not trendy. Humiliation is so, so, not trendy. Maybe that's why Catholics picked up the crucifix, because it has the corpse on the cross?I've committed suicide. Col 3:3:) Because of the divinity in HIS forgiveness. Because he died for me, and he said to follow Him, suicide would be the case.Deny yourself. John 14:6Crucify yourself. Gal 2:20Less of yourself John 3:30Humility?Every day you die, everyday you follow. Your like the sacrifice at the alter that dies, is buried and is returned again. To die. Luke 9:23Everyday.All the sudden, your language doesn't become a problem.The habits you have formed by your narcissistic indulgences aren't problemsSex, Drugs,Porn,Pride,Vanity,Gluttony,Alcohol,Lust.The skeletons in your closet.Because your name is notHalo 2, Or Budweiser, Or Playboy, Cosmopolitan.God calls you Child.Because now, selfish is not an option you have when your hanging on a cross.Nailed.Phil:1 21I can only hope that everyday I'm able to take a stab at killing myself.My prideMy wantsMy needsMy imageMy, My, My.I am no Super-Christian. I don't have all the answers. I'm a sinner saved by grace through faith. At the end of the day I'm still a sinner.Still, unworthy.But, being a sinner is no crutch. And, being saved is the crux.All these words, wrote with love.Intended indeed for those in need.of HIS blood.-------------------------------------------------blog.myspace.com/danrocksfaceI got some responses of people wanting to share my blog with others.I have no problems with that whatsoever.Love.Thank you for teaching and convicting me Christ, Todd, Steve.

Learning to unlearn the image of what is, is really not.

Everything labeled Christian is not always good, or for that matter, right.Coming from an outsider's perspective, over time, a person would possibly be convinced that 'Christians were angry people'.That is an atrocity.Funny thing is, people who's not of the Christian persuasion also, in a contradiction dynamic, follow up telling us what we 'should' be, when they don't even understand fully, know, or comprehend the relationship with Christ.So they are telling us what we should be.When they don't know who we are.Reason. Cause and Effect. -Double hypocrisy-We are hypocrites. Giving a relapse effect for them.Atheists often say that their anger with God, or that God messed their life up.But, they don't believe in God, God might as well be the Santa Clause.To them, He is not real at all.I love atheist. They are challenging, they make me smarter. Because they believe something I don't. They have a different worldview. It gives me perspective. But, sometimes they are inconsistent.About the same way we are inconsistent.So, saying that brings me to this.We've got a "church within a "church"All inside, a "church" Building.People who proclaim but don't practice.People who practice and proclaim.Which, some people would call.an inconsistency.------Check this out, they're people in Churches who purchase everything that their preacher says. It's like people who really believe the television and news and take it legitmiacy for all it's worth.I question. Question everything. Learn for yourself and totally find a validity no one can take from you. Expereince Christ, and learn.-----Jesus was always consistent.Never did he waiver with any discrepancies.He said turn the other cheek.He said sacrifice yourself.He said seek and save.He said Love.It's all about Jesus. Hopefully, maybe, when Christians get that idea, we can be consistent.Hopefully, maybe, I can be consistent.I'm just a loser fighting for a win.It's frustrating when people who are not Christians come to me with their idea of a Christian.Not because of their idea. Not because they are not Christian.Because of our example, and the image that perpetuated their thinking, thus creating a fabricated view of what Jesus is, when what Jesus is, is really not."It's not our job to make anyone believe."-Emery.It's not.Our job is to love. Love everyone. Not your option, not your say on who. It's everyone. People who've sinned against you, people who have raped you, people who've stolen from you, moms who've abandoned you, fathers who've beat you, friends who taken your significant other.It's so right, it seems wrong.It's so hard, it seems impossible.But, as a Christian, it's not over.You have to love, and then forgive.Forgive. Better yet, whatever.It's so far out, that you, forgive someone for the unimaginably horrendous things humans do. Humans are conceited. And selfishness is at the root of all transgression. Forgive. Better yet, hands with nails through them.Forgive in humility. Maybe we wouldn't have the Crusades if we loved with Christ yielding thought.Maybe we wouldn't have had the Spanish Inquisition.Maybe we wouldn't have denominations. Inconsistency may be our only consistency.There is a lot of self-seeking Christian artist.Labeled "Christian" it must be good? No.There is a lot of Christian Churches speaking about damnation of homosexuals.Good? No.I adore the fellow believers who have a intellectually based faith.Who try to read context over content.Who can say that they mess up.Who will pray for truth!But I often find.Who can say I mess up? Who tries to read over my content?Who find their own truth, and settle.I hope I can find a constituency of believers focused on Christ: That can be still and know.

Alone. But, not really.

Holy Lord, most holy Lord
You alone are worthy of my praise
O holy Lord, most holy Lord
With all of my heart I sing
Great are You, Lord
Worthy of praise
Holy and true
Great are You, Lord
Most holy Lord===True, dat.Sometimes, it's best to be still and know.Have a broken heart. Have a peirced ear.Have a burdend cross.and know, God is there.When your alone.

(God & gays) a love, a grace, a community in turmoil regarding it's place.

This is about homosexuality and Christianity. This is a touchy subject. This is going to take you a long time to read.I pray my words are ones of truth, love and compassion.I pray my words are seeking and saving.I pray I have done nothing to paint a jaded picture of Jesus.Now…To the pompous pseudo Christian that seals homosexual's fate in hell: I say to them.
One, you cannot, on any degree, opportunity, measure or merit declare someone eternally placed especially, as a mere equal mortal. It's unbiblical, philosophically illogical, unethical to humanity and dumb. (In my opinion.)
I had a discussion with someone who didn't agree.
I had to explain to them.
Bible gives you attributes of people who've been eternally placed. Based on them attributes it gives you the judgment.
There is a judgment criterion, but not criterion for judgment.I sincerely apologize for people who people like Fred Phelps who've dedicated their life to the idea that God Hates Fags.That is a lie.That is not true, simply preposterous.I'm sorry for people who believe him. It's the opposite of the teachings of the Bible.In his 55-year career as a preacher he's picketed homosexuality and immorality all across the country and the world more than 22,000 times.It sickens me to my stomach, it is truly horrific. But, honestly what kind of validity does this monster exhibit, he goes to funerals with signs telling people of their judgment?I can only hope that we can remedy him by complete disregard. Completely ignore him, and possibly he will go away.It's like Mark Twain said, "If Jesus came back, He would not be a Christian"This is not the love Jesus exhibited. Fred, I hope you find what it means to be 'in-Christ' then, maybe, with integrity you be convicted and truly walk with love. Because, to be 'in-Christ' is what it takes to be an authentic Christian.
Homosexuality was never a "front and center" topic in the bible, read it; gosh…It's usually mentioned among other sexual acts. But, again, people take it out of context, use it at face value and now, all the sudden, everyone that is Christian hates fags, and we all vote republican.I got a flash for ya. I'm not republican. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah. Was the cities burnt because of the people doing impure acts of homosexuality or, because their blatant disregard to God's will?My vote is the latter, because simply in the story it's just mentioned. What if it had said that the men of the town wanted to take the angels and gamble? Would it have made a difference on the outcome? But, I digress.
I'm very passionate in letting everyone in on the secret that everyone can go to heaven.
Everyone, everyone.There are judgmental Christians who are in hell.There are saved by grace rapist, murderers, thieves in heaven.Hell is full of people God knows and loves.Heaven is full of people God knows and loves."They must deny how they were created in order to be saved."Everyone must deny how they were created in order to be saved.Because it's word for word, just about. Its how every real Christian will commit their life to Christ. It's a battle between spirit and flesh, between wants and sacrifices, knowledge and ignorance, maturity and adolescents. That is Christianity.That could be the core function of a true Christian heart. -Absolute denial of self-Many people didn't think it was right or fair to give up the things that they loved to follow Christ. But they did. Christendom had millions of people give up habits, some willingly give up families, some exiled from their native countries, some gave up on loved ones, and some gave their lives. Their life: as a martyr or as in endless dedication, mostly, both. Why? Because some angry God? Because Jesus didn't come back? Millions follow? Does that make it trendy or true? Gay hate statistics are astonishing and horrible. I truly hate that. People are cold blooded concerning this issue.So, I was thinking of my gay friend. We met at AFNI. He and I would sit at Starbucks in Barnes and Noble and talk about God, life, death, homosexuality and him being an agnostic. For hours.Why?Reasoning?Logic?Purpose?He even left a voice mail on my phone "Looking for a cute, little, Christian boy."…You just have to understand his humor.He said on many occasions that he was made like this. It was part of his design and that ever since he was little this is how he functioned and operated. He had told me the life he had was awful. Many occasions of being beat up, going to the army and almost being beat to death, lost a loved one to suicide.Tough stuff. Hard for me to take in. But, he also said how he wanted to challenge my thinking because, I challenged his. Because my points on apologetical evidences and 'how-too' on following Christ was different.So, we got a contradiction. God made something that acted unnatural to the humanism in him. He did something apart from the spiritual realm he felt. He did something that was natural to him. Something he thought was right and good. Something that for years he would be ridiculed for, why? Because he wanted too, because he liked being expelled, because if your gay your always happy? If a male is burning with lust for a female, get married.What if a male is burning with lust for a male? Deal with it? I'm sure a part of him would like to give it up, marry a woman, have children and frankly be normal, but, the feeling was too strong.He was gay.Can you love God if you're gay?Yes.Can God love you if you're gay?Yes.God said, I'm going to make a whole creation that is, by nature, is opposed to me. I will give them free will to choose what its going to take for them to be with me.Why? Does God not want us to be with him? Does not every father want to tuck in his children at night? Does God want some people to go to hell?Never. --Hell was never created for humans; it was strictly for the devil and his angels. But, those who opposed God would go there. But, my God of love, not judgment and damnation would know it would take incentive. But, that's just me guessing. He's God, I'm not. He's beyond me; all creation I know, all created beings, all understanding. He's more powerful; all things can happen through him; I see God when I see stars.--So, Some will have to give some.Some will have to give much.All will have to give.Give in, make a choice, pick up a sword of faith, and battle yourself.As we all do.By nature, and reaction we want to retaliate to people who've hit us. Jesus said, let them hit you again, this time, turn your cheek.By nature, I want go and have sex with every girl I see. But, I'm celibate. Jesus said, if you're going to burn with lust, at least cut it down to one lady, and have enough character to be with them the rest of your life. By nature, I want to think selfishly. I want to please my wants my needs, I want only to reward myself and, then, have the audacity to say there is nothing wrong with that. Jesus told me, I would have to die to myself. Everyday.By nature God is contradictory. But, not without purpose. I'm totally down with that.He knew people like my friend "Susie Q" would come into this world –the battleground- and infiltrate it with heaven. With her compassion, unrelenting love for broken, giving everything she can do improve someone's life. So people see a part of heaven when she's around.He also knew that when you give into your nature, like red light district of any metropolitan city, you would see parts of hell.Death, disease, disorder, destruction.Heaven can invade earth.Hell can invade earth.There are gay people in heaven. (Like there are murders Moses, Paul)They knew that was gay. They had been gay from the beginning, they was created gay. But, they said Christ was their savior and followed accordingly. They denied thier self. They made it to heaven as sinless souls because, their repentance was crucial, -Jesus forgave and healed- their sacrifice was great, their commitment is even greater. Because when someone sacrifices a lot there is a relapse effect that says "contribute more". That's why some of the most powerful Christians, were drug dealers, inmates, broken and hurt people. "Were" they are no more, they have turned away, just as Paul, and Moses...It's possible for them to get to Heaven with the same accord with everyone else, they just have to commit their life to Christ and become a new creation (as we all did, and do). I'm sure some of them slipped up, we all slip up. It had to have been hard, but, God's love is amazing, His grace is sufficient, and death, was already taken care of.Homosexuality was taken care of 2000 years ago with a couple hours of torture, taunts and some nails. Along with millions of lies, deaths, murders, you name it.Sin was defeated. God prevailed. You can be saved by the grace, love and compassion of your God and your Father.It don't matter what picture you paint, God's going to put it on His heavenly fridge.

Trials and love- friendships through hardships without cold content.

Cold content. A place I hope my friends and I never get.I've been recently thinking of my friends.Close friendsOld friendsNew friends.Then, the friends that are like your neighborhood mail-man.The other friends that change your life completely.The other friends that you rub off on.Cold content. A solemn and dreary place. Disdain is a full-time job and jealously reigns supreme. It's a place where 'friends' reach a point in a relationship that says. "Well, we're good, just as long as we don't go deeper.""I like it here in the shallow parts of the relationship."Where conversation mainly consists of school and work maybe weather, if you're lucky. But, as far as life, God, politics, religion, relationships, and families:-areas untouched-Cold content has not real content.No substance.I was warned of times as these.People said that your friends will scatter like thrown puzzle pieces.Never really connecting again.It's life, they said. Just what happens, people go to college, people start jobs, and people go to the military. People start families.They're all good valid reasons on some level. But, still friends right? I've recently been thinking of the cherished friendships I have with people. Situations in life change. Thinks don't always work out the way you planned them too. It's all good, it's life. But, I still want there to be a solid ethic of love and pursuit in our relationship as friends.Don't have a cold content, have a burning pursuit.As friends, seek and learn each other, from each other. It may have been that you've known them your whole life. But, does that make it impossible for new ground to cover?New ground? Male? Friends? What?!Too many times, I think, as males we focus our relationships on the basis of chemistry between Halo and football, girls and money, cars and image. Instead of true trust, love, integrity and character, maturity and resolve, accountability and tall glass of "act-right."Some of my closest friends don't have ALL that much in common, except God.This, in all truth, is all that's needed.Pursuit, chase, follow and lean on your friends, burn and sometimes it hurts, but in the end you'll love the scar.Cold content, Burning pursuit….One more ingredient to this equation maybe we can get the sum of something friendship.Trust and confront. You see, you can't spell friendship correctly unless you spell T-R-U-S-T after the F and before the P... Mind you, the trust, is silent.It's the fundamental difference between families and friends, families have a divine blood trust, if they are true. Friends have a chasm they have to cross, trust, and once that bridge is crossed it's now only a matter of maintenance of two working together to keep emotions crossing.However, I've seen friendships dwindle. I've seen people loose a connection. Be it, their not connecting with Jesus.(thus creating a relapse affect with people whom are) Or, they interest have changed they might be more focused of school, girlfriends or work.Which in most cases are understandable, but in others they are cop-outs.What if there are people in my life I should intentionally disconnect with?Is that an option? That is something I really struggle with.Because "dude" is cheating of "chick" should I confront him and have him blow up because of my "false allegations" or just disassociate with him and have him figure it out? What if, what if, I found of a "friend" was lying to another "friend"?This one is the worse.When a "friend" tells you it's none your business. What? In some situations it maybe none of my business at all, but guess what, I can probably tell, and therefore won't I probe you. However, if it's none of my business because your being a shady, corrosive "friend" with completely illegitimate reasoning, I can see RIGHT through you when you say it's none of your business, because basically all your doing is saving your image because you know what your doing when you tell someone it's none of their business is simple cop-out in which, you know now, you can proceed in all the frivolity and games you want to play with the girls minds, drunk times, sex-as-a-sport, and know you've deceived your friends. But, I got to tell you sometime. I see you measure and I read this book. You're a liar, and when you put it all together, this friend you say you are is not a friend at all. I hope that your god donsen't lead to your fall. I love, in which this I am called. To you, my friend, I gave my all.I, again, cherish my friendships. I love my friends. They help me through some seriously tough times. I don't know where I would be without them. But, I don't want to be a little puppet in their show. I don't have time for a person who is just going to throw me around like a slingshot. I want them to trust me. O' I don't want my friends to become complacent and dead in relationships. I want to thrive, it's hard. It sucks, but possible. I wish I could have times again like at shambling theater, knees down, crying with a friend of mine over a cup of prayer. Where we we're broken and torn and life had situations and we, together, worked through it. I see times again, when I'm alone in a S10 with a friend and we're apologizing because for months we'd had great disparagement between us, over a girl. We got over it, we're better now, because we're friends. Times like going down the road and realizing how much you love your buddy. Even after he stomped on the breaks and making your face hit the dashboard of his dumb SUV.Time to shut up, and let God speak.Proverbs 27:6Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.Ecclesiastes 4:10If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 1 John 4:7[ God's Love and Ours ] Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.---John 15:13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Weakend mistress- a crucible, a test.

There are so many perspectives in 'going to church'.Good purposes, bad purposes. All motion an affect, resounding: Worship, woe or wishful-thinking.I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I was at the library with one of my clients when I seen a book with a man and a woman on the cover, and the title had something to do with…A weekend mistress.Then, immediately started my forthcoming thoughts.Let's say it's a weakend mistress.We are to weakend and Jesus is to mistress.Jesus, The Savior of All.Us, The Unworthy Saved.Random tangent starts….Now.Humans have always had a divine natural seeking for a superior being, don't believe me, or doubt that? Go to a history class anywhere,in the world. History and religion are hand and hand.I mean, for us here in America, our native in'gens had gods.What? Where you going with this dude?Well, get this…of all them, how many religious figures took it as far as them saying-"I am the Son of God"Besides the whole Greek mythology family tree shellacking.Neither were the many people that claimed they was the prophetic messiah of Jerusalem, they are now countless and nameless, claimed a false truth, and died with history.But, one man never died with history, in fact, He is history, get changed the world. Pole to Pole. He put a new measurement in time; He put an example of that is all good and right in the world, Jesus, a prophetic messiah, died and rose, as in prophecy. Lives now and making history.-A credible and legitimate savior of all-Yeah, they're others, Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius.ConfucianismBuddhism IslamJoseph Smith? … MormonismWhat about Gandhi? Had a huge following, loved Jesus' teachings but, could not follow him because of…The weakend.They did not have the caliber Jesus did. They was not up to his level, Jesus even set the bar for some them guys.They simply fall short, they're just honorable mentions and Jesus took1st, 2nd, and 3rd.None of them had the ability to make a claim like that. Something so profound.Jesus didn't only do it, he said. "WAY, TRUTH, LIFE."To Big Guns upstairs who said he was the "I AM."That's a big deal. I mean, that boggles my thinking so hard, God is so awesome, He only needs. I am.wow.Jesus had to stand in front of a judge and jury, kind of, and tell them He was the Son of God. Puts a new meaning and perspective to: the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth.He was the Son of God, and guilty as charged. Tangent, over. The church is now a socio-political entity where we have different mediums on which people are committed. Worship, Woe, or wishful-thinking. Some people drive through snow, hell, fire or brimstone to get to church on Sunday morning because, their the mayor. Punch the ticket and play the part, a person who's go to church to make themselves feel good type.Some are drug to church. Some people don't go because, their hair didn't part right.Some don't go because, they don't care.Some people went and cared, but was hurt by the weakend. And stopped. It's a phenomenon, some people drive through snow, hell, fire or brimstone simply because, and they got themselves a pretty-pretty to sit with.My favorite. People who won't dare miss because of a burning passion deep within them, something says I must be in community with the other priesthood of believers; I have to worship my God and my Savoir, whom I love deeply and trust.The people that you eat dinner with and leave with the feeling of love and acceptance. That's what I'm getting at.Church is on Sunday, typically.We go to God's house after a week of iniquities and corruption expect him to forgive us, but, slap him in the face because we're looking with eyes of discord and throwing diatribes with dejection arrows. All because, Johnny Holy-sinner minister, didn't wear a 3 piece. We go to God's house expecting something when, we should be giving something. Got this concept of a super-market theology and buy anything you hear and you make bets on when your going have to hire a new preacher in the next year. It's astounding the narcissism of Christianity, the one things you couldn't leave without getting the idea that it was …wrong. Narcissism in reference to the function of a church is wrong all day long, and gossiping on every member there with a consumer reports mentality open the flood gate for conflict. We are the weakend throughout the week. And on the weekend we are weak.All through the week, we're cheaters.On our mistress. See the analogy? We are weak. Unworthy.I'm a habitual hypocrite. However, I say this in all truth. I seek.There is no futility in our pursuit. Purpose in Passion.But, it's true we tease Jesus. We dip our foot in the righteous waters of a hard life and commitment, then pull it right back out. We go to His house every weekend knowing we've cheated, then we get there and beat Him even more. Nothing more than a relationship in ruins our mistress misses us, we're missing out, and it's all messed up. Compleatly backwards. I mean what if Jesus died, said EARN SALVATION! But, He didn't He died with it offerd at life's cost.Save your soul, save your church.This generation can rock the world.Dare to dive deeper.Partially devoted is an oxy-moron.Says something about that luke-warm idea in Revelation.Light a flame, grand arson, in the heart.We get so caught up in the routine of religion and loose focus on the love and pursuit of a relationship with passion and intimacy. So, I say loosen up your grip on the world, tell Jesus you love Him, you miss Him. Don't cheat on Him. This He-mistress loves you without reserve. Don't go back to His house and break His heart. That's His Job. –breaking your heart- Your heart in worship, in life.Or else you'll just see some more of Weakend breaking a Church's heart in woe.You breaking Jesus' heart due to HIS wishful-thinking, and your neglegence.

Broken hearts like promises. Healed with promise.

find refuge in these words.Conversations of love and hurtForgiveness, reconcile and rebirth.So, As I meditate, I kiss serenity and chase wisdom As it takes place.A simple adoration communication Of God and patron.I often find myself in a district of unknowns having to put more trust in the truth that resonates in my bones.When I fully comprehend your sacrifice You heart break and pain shades my sight.Now, when I look at life, I know it's right.In reverence I look to the skies with love in my eyes.It's a divine relief when your blood infused forgiveness. Replaces grief with holy initiative and intentionsTranscending grace and peace and rebellion.-from the world-Compelling hearts trite and peoples lives without life