a sculptor, a father...

Friday I went to Adair Co. I was greeted with warmth at the sight of my father. I got to spend some time with him preparing a meal for a wedding on the next day, talking about family things, I even got to introduce him to my, now girlfriend, Tiffany. (As seen on profile picture). We even got to pick up one of his buddies and on the way there he was telling us stories and as always he had the ever nostalgic, "ahh, jeez"
Well, while I was there I brought my TV which has been in need of repair for a long time now. Being that my Dad has a couple of degree's in electronics I figured he could fix it.
He did fix it. He fixed it in under 2 minutes.
I was setting there for a second and just thought to myself. I love how Daddy's fix things. Because they do. Daddy's are big time fixers. Sometimes it has to do with money. -- They pay your speeding ticket, or sometimes you need a bandage on your knee, sometimes you need someone to vent to.
"Hey there, it's me Dad."
Always accepting, always loving, there to care and show affection.
Now, God.
I don't know how many times I've made Dad upset. But, I can tell you it's countless. Yet, even this weekend, he provided me with a cool remote control. He still cares.
But, how many times could I've made a Heavenly Father upset? If the frailty of all that is me, is able to disappoint another yet mere weak human, then, how much more could I upset my Heavenly Father? Moreover, how much further would you think is the grasp of redemption, grace, forgiveness?
I'm am nothing when it comes to the standard of living. This essence of piety. The nature of being moral. I'm am a character of flaws. No, I didn't say I have character flaws. I'm a character of flaws. I'm trying to bring myself to a disposition of humility. An acknowledgment that I'm nothing. For are we anything?
Without God?
Are you something you can just credit yourself all day long? I can't.
I'm a broken soul. I've had my influences and I made my decisions. I'm done with beating myself up with them. I've brought them out of my mental department where they were stored in apathy. There is a hope. Are you like me? Do you sometimes not look at yourself in disgust? Are you like me? Can you sometimes just feel the judgment of others pierce your skin. (typically other 'faithful' Christians)
I've been called out. For my standard of living by/an Christian(s) who were called to live the same morality as me. They were comparing lives. Juxtaposing our likes & differences and they never realized they was called to the same standard. They thought that I had to live a better life than they did, so, if I didn't, they could call me out on it. Moreover, use pathetic accountability rhetoric as their justification for their judgments. It's time to realize, if you're a Christian. You don't live for an audience. You live for an audience of one. That is, God. That God is your father and the writers of the Bible wanted to explicitly let you know the image of what you understand God as, when you see a father. One of the evidences I understand in myself for the proof of God is the care a father has when influenced by God's love.
You've heard about the fathers that don't have that influence.
So... Have you been where I've been? Yes, of course you have. I know, I've been there. It sucks. Do you believe in forgiveness? Do you believe in a healing?You got it wrong if you think you should get "right" then go to "church".
That's a backwards idea. You let Jesus be your hearts sculptor. You let Jesus tell you dearly that you're loved. You let Jesus know that you love Him. It's about Jesus. It's all about Jesus. You know you can trust in His promises. You know you can see yourself in His arms. Like I said before, those scars are his, but those nails were ours. I know I am loved. I know I'm accepted. Just as you are. Just as we are. Together.
Jesus is the one who can take your heart and make it something bright. Make your life and turn it around. He can change you eyes and you'll see new light. Show you that there is a better way.
May the angels jump in joy on your shoulders. May God look down on you and smile.